Next time, I'll do a jig.

Most boring post ever?
Here we go.

In lieu of REAL news, aside from my most amazing $11 extra per paycheck thanks to Dr. Stimulus, I'm going to ramble.

Today I realized that I have all but run out of every single one of my beauty products. Normally the only things I run out of are eyeliner, eyebrow pencil, mascara. Those three things I replace 3-4 times a year. ( Told ya, boring )
Anything else lasts me at LEAST a year. Sometimes 10 months. Never really (NEED to) buy anything. But no, after some calculations I'm about to spend ROUGHLY $100 on things that I've simply run out of. Things that I will use every day. Not just some new fancy lipstick. Essentials.


Go hard or go home? I guess I could probably go weeks or months without most if not all of the products. But I can't remember the last time I bought something for myself... aside from food and dirty chai's...

Speaking of.. At the best Giant Eagle in the world last night I came across what is known as BUDDHA'S HAND. It's a fruit. It looks like a lemon squid (Buddha's fingers). After research I find it's good for nothing more than scenting a room for weeks, making candy, and zesting fish.
I'm going to buy this. And forget about my girly boring things.

Oh hello, Life.

What's up.
-

So on my way to work today I saw a hawk chillin on a telephone wire. Not a normal place to find a hawk. This telephone wire just so happened to be infront of a spot that used to be poplulated by some dense tree masses.
I'm far from a tree hugger. I like meat. But this made me feel just as pissed off as that hawk. I would sit outside my once home too if someone cut it all down.

How can I explain life in general?
It's good.
It's life.
It's experiences.
Ashley and I made CHAI & HONEY cupcakes with honey whipped cream icing.



Went to the store to get necessary supplies.
Somehow managed to forget A) Eggs. B) Butter. Of course.
We could've gone back to the store. But it just wasn't enough for us to do that.
So we had the boy who was delivering pizza to the house to bring us the egg we needed. And we used the (possibly not enough) toast butter out of her fridge. Crumbs and all.

No timer on the oven. No problem. We used our noses.
Honey whipped cream icing not sweet enough? Not a problem, we'll accidentally drop way too much powdered sugar into it, start a new batch, make it too thick, drop it on the floor, and have everyone like our first attempt with the too much sugar (oh AND some salt) in it, anyway.

Basically what we need is our own cooking show. It will go through all the things that happen when you're strapped. When you lack ingredients. When you seem to have messed it all up. When you're drunk off wine and can't stop making "that's what she said," jokes while people are playing banjo's in the other room.

Cupcake outcome? Perfect for holidays or breakfast. Not too sweet. Not to difficult. Ashley's suggestion of injecting them with a creamcheese icing next time will probably make them the most delicious things.

Seems as though we need some practice before opening our own cupcake bakery though!
Up for the challenge.

Now I will partake in my new favorite bad for my wallet beverage, sugar free Dirty Chai Tea w/ soy. From Steamers. Dream worthy.
Thank you and goodnight.

Let's talk about this again,

So remember when I went to Hotlanta? Aka, Atlanta?
Well on our adventures we ended up at the Coca-Cola factory.
We saw the history, the art, a really nauseating 3D movie, and got to try out 64 different kinds of Coca-Cola products from all over the world.
Ginger soda seemed to be our favorite. It burned your nose just enough to make you want to sneeze. Unlike gingerale this stuff tasted like a piece of fresh ginger smashed up into some fizzy water.
There were different flavors of iced tea, different flavors of Fanta, one called the.... Beverly? From either France or Spain. It tasted like tonic water with a kick of BLEH at the end. Very strange.
Very interesting.
I don't even like Coke, or soda that much (as mentioned in a previous entry, in fact) but you better believe I tried all 64 flavors and left with a stomach ache.

This picture was from the history section of it all. New advertising for it. Plus myself. Geekin out. Was it before or after the sugar rush? Don't know. My enthusiasm seemed to be a little over the top. Maybe it was right after the 3D movie and I was actually really mad and having a bout of sarcastic fun while my head pounded and I vowed to never be interested in "3D" again.

On the topic of beverages though, I just made green tea and put a little bit of cinnamon and honey in it. Delicous. I forgot how much in love with cinnamon (the spiceee) I am.

I have more blog worthy things, but they will wait.
Goodbye!

All I wanna do is DancE.

Best people in the entire world? I don't mean to brag or anything, but I'm pretty sure that's what's been dropped into my lap over the years. Not to mention, the best dancers. Right?

I'm really grateful for anyone involved in longest birthday weekend ever. Here or there.
My hair is so dirty it's ridiculous.

And hey, LIFE, thanks for allowing me to still have eyeballs so that I could fall in love with this;
















Can't. Get. Enough.
Nicholas Di Genova. <-- Link link.

I've been clamoring around about this since last week. Shoving it down peoples throats as if it was my new religion. And I still want to spill my guts out onto the floor and offer them to whoever needs some every time I look at his stuff. That's dramatic. I know. But it's so good I kind of want to explode a little bit.

I can't seem to post my favorite drawring by him since blogspot is being a piece, and this pretty picture can't be found online. One thing blogspot and I have in common is that we just don't like to function all that well before 10am. Life's rough, you know? I'll try later. Until then, we'll all survive.


Yesterday was my Grandpa's birthday. And this concludes my "Hey check out all these birthday's at once" segment.
He turned 89. He enjoys motorcycles, thinking, fixing things, iced tea, bread, soup, laughing at old shows on tv, and taking care of things. What a guy. You can find a picture of him (if you care so much) on my myspace. Which I don't have a url for. But he's wearing a bow on his head because some of us find that amusing at every family event to put a bow on his head and take a picture. Sometimes he laughs until he cries. And somehow he gets the best weird presents ever. Like the magnetic screw holder last Christmas. Or the underwater window breaker, the Christmas before, for use when you drive your car into some large body of water and the pressure is just too strong on your windows to bust them out. Yeah, this bugger will break those windows like NONE OTHER. Ya know, just in case Grandpa ever found himself in a sinking car.
I bet a lot of people that were on that bridge that collapsed a few years back were wishing they had such a phenomenal gift.
Pittsburgh DOES have a lot of old questionable bridges as well.
Perhaps I'll find my own emergency car window breaker...




......... Obviously distracted. Time to dance to Gorillaz and put on clothes as quickly as possible so that I can open my store. Good plans.
( Thank you - to everyone - for being really fantastic people and friends - you all kind of make me want to throw up guts or explode just a little bit too. )

Incredibly birthday post worthy;

Not so deadly? Chance Tulsa spider misidentified

– Killer Spider In Aisle 5 TULSA, Okla. – A spider that was found in a Tulsa grocery store may not have been as deadly as originally thought.

The spider found in a shipment of bananas at Whole Foods was taken Sunday to the University of Tulsa, where animal facilities manager Terry Childs identified it as a Brazilian wandering spider, considered one of the most lethal in the world.

But Barry Downer, the curator of aquariums and herpetology at the Tulsa Zoo, said video and photos he had seen of the spider led him to believe that it was a Huntsman spider, which is harmless to humans.


Oh bummerrr dude!
It goes on to talk about how the spider was destroyed, but now there is controversy that the spider should not have been destroyed. It should have been preserved. Apparenlty.
So "not so lethal spider" is now dead.
... I'm sorry but if that were me in the grocery store, that spider would've been so dead before anyone could even START to tell me that it COULD be the most LETHAL SPIDER TO HUMANS EVER.

What's more funny is that the guys name is Downer. Cause it is.. a total downer.


NOW I GIVE YOU THIS;

THE BEST THING I'VE READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
SO GOOD THAT MY FACE STILL HURTS FROM LAUGHING.

I'll give you a hint if you didn't click yet.. It involves this;



AND it involves TIME TRAVEL.
Now click the link and read it ALL.
BEST BIRTHDAY SHARING EVER.
Hate spiders. Love this.
I'm on birthday vacation now, I will be back last week!

3-20-09

First day of spriiiing.
First day of quarter lifeee.
25 years ago it was snowing.
And this was a picture of last nights adventures left overs.
I managed to get a big girls license. And if the world really does end in 2012, I'd like to say I'm pretty satisfied with my final dmv photo. Good work.

Jen's great and is taking me to a "casually elegant" restaurant tonight. And we plan on matching. Like a couple should.
Then we're partaking in some beverages in the city at whatever place we please. The plan? If you would like to celebrate spring, my quarter life, or the fact that it's cold again and what better way to warm up than with alcohol and wicked dance moves... regardless of location.. then you may come find us. And we'll be glad to keep you company.

!

Are you his master, or his PREY?

This is really all I want for my birthday. Screature.


FOLLOW THIS LINK.

Greatest commercial describing the greatest product ever.
He spits.


He's mine.
Someone buy this for me. Thanks.


I'm going to get my grown up license today. I'm torn between dirty hair and a ridiculous sweater, an up-do and prom type attire, or just take a shower, throw on my tank top and go attire.
I will have to live with this picture for 5 years. Something I failed to consider the LAST time this happened. It either needs to be completely ridiculous or completely normal. None of this "was she trying to be funny or did she really think that was cool?" middle of the road jazz.
Maybe I'll strike a pose.
See ya later, 24.

Ode to Dad.

It's my Dad's birthday today! I feel like he's such an elusive character in my life. Always there, never really seen or heard of though.




That's him with the beard and bow legs next to my dream car. Scion XD. Sometimes we go to car shows together and he figures out ways to get me to buy a brand new car. It's his thing. I don't mind it.

So this is my Ode to Dad.

....

Nevermind. I'm not in rhyming poetic mode.
But this is to my Dad --- You talk to me about money and cars. When you think about it, we're kind of like thugs. All of your clothes fit me and I'm okay with that. Just in case I ever need a sweet old polo or t-shirt from the 70's or 80's, I'll know where to find it. I think it's funny that after having Daisy put down you put her in the basement freezer (in a Giant Eagle bag, in a box) because the ground was too frozen solid to dig her a proper burial hole. And that you never told Mom. And that she only found out last week.. Meanwhile, it's been at least a month. And I think that it's funny when there is an attempt at a heart to heart between you and I and lines like "Well, I think you're an okay daughter," and "I'm sure you'd make good tips serving, I mean, you're not dumb looking, you know?" and "You could probably model. Just get on it because no one will want to work with you when you're old in a few years," come out.
I also really like it when you walk around the house wearing your motorcycle helmet and all we can see are your eyes. And when you ask me questions like "What's a dominatrix?"

So, to my Dad, Happy Birdday.

I've got more up my sleeve.

When I have more than 5 dazed minutes after waking up to update, I will.
I saw a lot of good things in the ATL. A whale shark, underground mall, lots of Coke products, and of course, KING TUT.
On the flights both to and from Georgia I sat next to chemical engineer students. On the way there the kid was about to go to college for it, on the way home the two girls were seniors. How bizarre. My youngest baby brother wants to go to school for chemical engineering. Regardless, they made the flights a little more enjoyable.
Them and the old Greek man on the flight to Georgia who drank 3 beers on our hour long flight.
My kind of man.
My riding partner agreed even though he was very much underage. Tsk tsk smart boy.


Beyonce on my itunes. So distracting. How is she everywhere? Everywhere.


Anyway, the point. My Mom is great. Seems every time I leave for more than one night she uses it as an excuse to stop over to my apartment and clean and decorate as if it's her own. It makes her happy, so my only rule is that if it's not in the trash, don't throw it away. AND -- don't fold my clothes. Ima big girl.
So last time on my return from Buffalo I walked in to see a little lit up Christmas tree. Cute.
This time when she brought me back from the airport I came in to see the Christmas tree down ( yeahhh, I still had it up in Marchhh... haaaa. Oops! ) and these two white gems at my island;





! How cute! (this is the cleanest my island has been in a weeeek!) She said she's been looking for stools to put there ever since I moved in. I, on the other hand, always had in my head that I was going to be moving -- But she's right, I'm not within the next 3 months, and when I do, I'm taking these with me and getting a tall table. She got them from the Estee Lauder makeup stands in Macy's. They're super comfortable.
I want to paint them and do so much to them, but right now they look so right. White at the white island, brown at the brown kitchen table. Maybe it will come to me after scouring design books on what I should do.
Early birthday present. I smile every time I think of it. Mostly cause it was so nice.
And everything looks so much brighter without that tree! (haahah)




I love them.
I love her.
Loved my trip.
Love that I'm back.
But seriously, what does a girl have to do for a little bit of sunshine?
I feel like I have these gray clouds on a leash. They're just following me wherever I go.




Oh yeah.





Happy St Patrick's Day. I hate this one almost as much as Valentine's Day.
Drunken tool bags.
And here I am drinking a green margarita in the underground mall. Hoping to be more drunk than the other people there.
Didn't succeed. Maybe today I will!

!

YEAH! Those two little rain clouds/lowest temperatures of the week represent my two days of vacation. What's up! My two days of flight are sunny sunny sunny though. I came to bring the rain hardcore to the brain.

Woke up so early I feel a little nauseous. Maybe it's nerves. I know it's nerves. I'm procrastinating pretty hard right now. I leave in... 40 minutes... And I don't think I'm done packing. Lovely. Maybe I'll shave. Either that or I'll wear shorts and make really good friends with my plane mate... For comic relief. It will be the best/most awkward plane ride he/she will ever have with "That girl with the real hairy legs and gravity defying bangs." My goal is to look suspicious enough that they decide to do a fully body search on me.

.... Okay. Enough. Kitty is in charge this weekend. DON'T destroy my pretty little liquor cabinet! Thanks! See you soon!

Additional self-realization.

This BLOG has lost all types of direction.

di·rec·tion (dĭ-rĕk'shən)
n.

1. The act or function of directing.
2. Management, supervision, or guidance of an action or operation.
3. The art or action of musical or theatrical directing.
4. Music. A word or phrase in a score indicating how a passage is to be played or sung.
5. An instruction or series of instructions for doing or finding something. Often used in the plural.
6. An authoritative indication; an order or command.
7. The distance-independent relationship between two points in space that specifies the angular position of either with respect to the other; the relationship by which the alignment or orientation of any position with respect to any other position is established.
8. The statement in degrees of the angle measured between due north and a given line or course on a compass.
9. A course or area of development; a tendency toward a particular end or goal: charting a new direction for the company.


Dans ce sens. En direction de. Contre-pied. Auto-direction.

Dry hands, chapped lips. DEhydrated.

It's time, kiddos. Tomorrow I take flight to bask in the 55 degree weather of the not so Hot-lanta sun. Yep, I'm terrified. Only of the flight. Not so much of the ground. To continue on with gangster March, I think Atlanta is the perfect place to chill out for a few days.

I've been sleep walking all day. No rest for the mildly wicked, I say.

I'm posting this for someone who was unaware of the greatness of this video. And that someone probably translates into a lot of people that need to be exposed.




Yup, it's Skinny Puppy, "Protest."
And yes, sweet moves.
It's one of my all time favorite videos.


Why doesn't this happen more often in real life (IRL)?
Because people lack guts, that's why! I'm going to start carrying around a BOOMBOX and challenging people in the streets to a dancing duel.


I'm lacking a transitional statement here so I'm just going to MOVE ON.


I was just informed by my dearest Jennifer, that there is a NEW all natural Pepsi.
The Review;


It's terrible
tastes like really flat old pop, and watered down
yeah
MAYBE rum would help, but even then... ugh


There you have it. Not even rum will fix the problem. Might as well just drink good ol' H2O. BUT!





If this is how ALL of the All Natural Pepsi's come packaged, I plan on purchasing at least a six pack's worth. How in credibly attractive... raw... My flowers would look lovely in these. It also kind of makes me want to wrestle. WWF style. With folded chairs and RAW bottles!
(I still disapprove of the new Pepsi logo though. Don't fix what's not broken, babes.)


This has gone on too long.

Mary Ellen!

Today is my Mother's birthday.
I won't disclose her age but she's a total babe.

She's taking off work to drive me to the airport on Thursday and that's kind of what makes her the best.
Thanks Mom! For giving birth and all!

Notorious.

How could I forget the anniversary of Biggie Smalls DEATH?
I guess just as easily as I could forget Kurt Cobain's birthday (Slap on the wrist. The man celebrated a birthday exactly ONE MONTH before mine.)
Spot on.

I guess March is my gangster month.
Hot-lanta in T-two days.

Ramble.

My Yogi tea relayed "Speak the truth," to me today. This makes more sense.

Few days ago I tried my hand at CHEWY oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I got everything except the chewy part. Next time I will HEED the directions that read "bake 12-15 minutes," and ignore my judgement of "Eh, they don't look done and they aren't burnt so I'll leave them in for another 15 minutes!"

The bonus, I have a rock hard oatmeal cookies for any time of the day. If they didn't have chocolate in them, I'd take them to a shelter and feed them to dogs.
Speaking of pups, Martha Stewarts little baby chow, Ghengis Khan ( I approve of this name for a pet ), died in an explosion over the weekend. Along with 17 other dogs. Bummer.

ARTICLE HERE.

I wonder if work can make me the exception today and allow a hoodie and sweatpants into the dress code. That'd probably make my day.

Something to sip on.

I think it's safe to say that I am an avid drinker of Yogi tea. The packaging is a dream, the teas are delicious, and on each tea bag string comes a tiny note attached to make you think or feel good about something. Zen. Nirvana. Om. In tea.
I tear most of the tags off their strings and either tape them to the back door at work (yup, I'm that guy) or I put them in this little dish in my kitchen. I like nice things. Maybe they'll provide me with positive energy when I'm about ready to run over puppies and kittens with a bulldozer.

Today, however, my green tea told me this;


Your infinity in you is the reality in you.



... oh yeah?
Maybe I'm just not feeling deep enough now to really get it. I really don't get it. Do I have an infinity?
Are they talking about... my soul? And that my eternal soul is my reality....?
I kind of just want to steep another bag and forget the whole thing.


I'm putting this tag with the "Your breath is the voice of your soul," one.
Actually, That'd be a good one to tape up in my bathroom while I'm doin that tooth brushin thing. Flossin. Cool. Silent, minty fresh soul, baby.

It's here! It's TIME.

YES, my lovelies. At two AM this morning the best man made decision of all time took place.



"Spring Ahead." Daylight Savings.
Time travel!


I've been waiting for this day since we fell backwards.
Daylight Savings is most definitely a holiday in my eyes. Staying up until 6 am never felt so cool.
.... Yeah it has.

I need some tea. And a shower. ASAP.

I get innnn to it.

I would call this my guilty pleasure list, but after listening to it... It's mostly my "I'm going to dance now," list.
Completely guilty.
It's like my ass can't help it.


1) Crack a Bottle - Eminem
Marshall Mathers, Dr. Dre, AND 50 cent. Yes, that's my true guilty pleasure crew all in one song.

2) Gives you Hell - All American Rejects
I tried really hard to not like it. But all I can picture are house parties.. And yeah, I hope it does give you hell. Girls and guys alike.

3) Let Me See Your Hips SWING - Savage
I KNOW. I'm still not over it. I'm beating the dead horse. I don't even care.

4) AND 5) Ron Brownz Remixes of Pop Champagne and Arab Money
Can I help that I like to feel like I need to belly dance? No. It just happens. And, I want to see YOU dance.

6) Get Up - 50 cent.
AHHH!! If you know what k(c)rumping is, you knowww what's up.
And if you don't know what's up, take some lessons from this little guy. I wanna see you mooove.


OWWW! YES. Get Up is the song to get dowwwn to.

Okay okay.
And

7) A Milli - Lil Wayne.
YUP. I know all the words. (Sorry, Mom.) I'm tougher than Nigerian hair. It never gets old. Unless you're not me, apparently.

Play. Dance. Get sweaty. Get uppp.

( Please excuse the excessive letter use in some words. I'm just a little excited. Sometimes I type like I talk. ... .... For better or for worse. )

Talent-less.

Genius!
My talent; I can STILL do the entire breakdown rap section from TLC's Waterfalls, done by Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez. RIP. !

AMERICA's NEXT TOP MODEL - HERE I COME. I will totally blow them away with my skills.
Perhaps Ashley and I can practice tonight while baking cookies and watching the season premiere tonight. HA! I know, it's the little things.
We need a catwalk.
And some really sexy aprons to strut in.

Speaking of sexy.
If Urban Outfitters was the only retail store left to shop in, A) I would be screwed.
B) I would wear these things on the (near) daily.




Embodiment of summer.



Everyday.



Yes, I'll wear wine and shorts.



If only.



I will NEVER have enough black dresses. This is coming to my closet, hell or high waters.



Yes. Yes.



Everyday.



Only if I can have it in this pattern.



Maybe, if you forced me into it.



Yes. $58 will get me almost two full tanks of gas though.



Welp. That'd be it. Good thing Urban is not the ONLY place to shop!
Birthday dress though? Yes. Yesss.
Other news?
Two football players lost at sea.
Economy still "sucks."
And.. there are probably 10 new ways to get flatter abs.
I'm not impressed!

Four days left until DAY LIGHT SAVINGS.

Whaaat!

Alright so I guess THIS is my 100th post. Unfortunately I DON'T have anything nearly as exciting as the transparent fish head. BUT, I DO have this;

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL CYCLE 13
ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS


8. You must be AT OR UNDER five feet and seven inches (5'7") in height, although the Producers reserve the right to make case-by-case exceptions. Please note the change in this requirement from past cycles of the Series.



!@#$%^&
Noted. I'm 5'5"! I knew these baby legs would be good for something at some point.
AND it's cycle 13! Doom and Despair Cycle!
Open casting calls this Friday from 12-6pm.
Ashley and I are going to be America's Next Short Models.

I better find a pair of jeans that make my butt look real good and Lord knows I better start working on some form of sweet talent because I don't think that spelling well, counting money really fast or folding shirts perfectly counts as interesting.


Gallery Crawl following this fantastic adventure. Be there.

Stolen Girlfriends Club.

I've gone a little blog crazy. There are just so many good findings.

STOLEN GIRLFRIENDS CLUB.

This is all I need. Now I need it in America.














The clothes are wonderfully grunge meets industrial, but the jewelry is where it's at for me.
On the hunt. Especially for that bow ring.