Friday, October 31, 2008

One year I was a jogger.

Sexy cat, sexy witch, sexy cop, sexy nurse, sexy nun, sexy super hero, sexy movie character, sexy nerd, sexy cowgirl, sexy indian, sexy storybook character, sexy pirate, sexy sailor, sexy bumble bee....
When was a bumble bee sexy?
I for one have never seen a bumble bee pornography.


Working at the Hot Topic gives me free range of whatever sexy costume I want at a lovely discounted price. I went for the can can dancer. It covers my butt. I like the color green. I love feathers. And long gloves are a good idea when it's cold.
After last nights wedding I'm feeling all prettied out.
Therefore, I may resort to the plan B costume. A BLACKHOLE. I'll wear all black. Paint my face black. Glue a couple solar systems and stars and space ships to my belly and suck down drinks with my magnetic pull.

"That sounds like something all those science nerds in high school would do."

[FOR THE RECORD - I was in the chemistry club in high school. Chemical experiments and pizza, how could you go wrong?]


Yeah, so what, maybe the science nerds would so that. I like black holes though. And I like being warm. I also enjoy magnets and consumption.
If all else fails, I'll go with my new discovered talent;





Looking like an Olsen twin on drugs.
Don't worry, this was not my wedding attire.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

DEVILS NIGHT = WEDDING NIGHT.

Girls with pretty hair.
I'll never understand it.


Perhaps years of bleach, pink, blue, darkness, and more bleach got the best of me.
But MAN if I could have pretty hair.. Or, styled hair? I'd be pretty impressed with myself.



It's been decided; I will never ever be 100% put together. Guess that's just part of my charm. This goes to you, pretty haired girls. You will always have one up on me. But I will always have the daintiest pinky fingers and largest hand veins.
Doll parts.



I have so much to say.
I'll leave it at - Congratulations Melissa and Rob. Nice night for a red/black wedding..

Monday, October 27, 2008

Building blocks.

[ Foo Fighters - Best of You ]

Visual verbal synergy.
I never learned the definition until I was scared into knowing it for life.

Hands down, best music video ever. It gives me chills every time. Not just because it's Dave Grohl and his teeth. This is my life in musical form. Every lyric is perfect. Every. Image. Is. Beautiful. And 100% relatable. And he doesn't even have to open his eyes.





Visual verbal synergy.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Happiness is..

My Gramma/Grandpa had this book at their house called "Happiness Is.." It was full of little illustrations of blob like critters and pages of happiness inducing fill in the blanks.
"Happiness is a hug. Happiness is home. Happiness is milk and cookies. Happiness is a sunny day."
I'd like to ask a group of 8 year olds what happiness is now.
"Happiness is a Wii and iPods"
No shame. It's 2008. Technology took over milk and cookies a long time ago.

BUT WHAT DOEST IT FEEL LIKE?


I'll try to pay attention next time I'm really really happy.
Emotions. It's a lot to wrap your brain around. I put this right up there with black holes and feral children.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

James St. James

"There are times when the drugs are flowing and the emotions are running high, the lights and music can make you dizzy - and the world slips out of control. It's like a car accident that happens too quickly... you can't stop it, you can't think about it, you just have to lean back, and watch as everything changes forever

You've lost control, you say to yourself, as the wheel of the world slips away from your hands-- "It's happening too fast" - and all you can do is wait for the ride to end, the car to crash, the world to stop

It's like chasing after time, chasing after the things that have already happened, because the drugs made you too slow. You're thick and awkward, but if you can just catch up, then maybe you can grab it, maybe you can grab at time and stop it -
But no.
It's already happened.
You have no choice.
Play it out.

... that's how Michael described to me the moments leading up to the murder. That's the way he described killing Angel."




[ James St. James & Michael Alig ]






With an introduction like that, I'm not sure why I have never fully grasped an interest in, nor heard word of Disco Bloodbath. True, I'm not the type of person who scouts bookstores, libraries, or underneath friends beds to find a good read. In fact, the last book I read was never even finished. But I appreciate the stories. And I appreciate knowing what a good book entails. Ideally I would have someone sit down with me and TELL me the story, let me ask questions, and hand me the book so that I can read the sections that matter most.

I'm not lazy. I'm not dumb. I'm not illiterate. Staring at tiny lines of words on pages upon pages really messes with me. Eventually it all looks like Chinese and I get really irritated. Dumb book. Why can't you have tiny squares of information so that I can read you like a magazine?

Anyway, I was introduced to the name James St. James through le television and needed to know more about this creature called a human. Research lead me to that introduction. Further research (not much further cause WIKIPEDIA rules everything), lead me to this;




James St. James (born James Clark, August 1, 1966) is a former Club Kid of the Manhattan club scene in the late 1980s/early 1990s and the author of Disco Bloodbath (now published under the title Party Monster). He was notorious for a lifestyle of excess that included heavy drug use, partying, and bizarre costumes.


Personally, I prefer Disco Bloodbath over Party Animal. Continue;



Club Kid Scene

James became a mentor of sorts to Michael Alig (hold onto that name), although at first he and the other Club Kids shunned the newcomer.[4] Undeterred, Alig soon created his own scene by gathering up other creative rejects of the nightlife world, copying St. James' flamboyant style with self-promotion and innovative, themed parties. Alig eventually grew on St. James, and St. James morphed from celebutante to Club Kid while helping Alig create the new scene. Alig and St. James threw many parties together, eventually setting up the Disco 2000 club night at the New York club The Limelight. St. James wrote several columns, most famously for the short lived New York City-based gay publication OutWeek during the magazine's two year life span from 1989-1991.


Come to think about it, I'm pretty sure I have heard word of Disco Bloodbath. This sounds like something an old manager of mine would have told me about.. CONTINUE (it's getting good);



Disco Bloodbath
As Alig got more into drugs, his life spiraled further and further down until he infamously murdered his drug dealer roommate, Andre "Angel" Melendez. St. James' debut novel, Disco Bloodbath, documents the infamous rise to fame of Alig and the murder. To avoid having to testify against Alig or club owner Peter Gatien, St. James fled to Los Angeles, where he presently lives. A documentary and feature film both used the book as their basis.




Nice. Way to go.
Killed your drug dealer, but how?




I'll put it in my own words.

Two killers. One victim. Andre "Angel" Melendez was arguing with Michael Alig about some drug money. Soon after put him into a position, shaking him, banging him off the wall saying "You better get my money or I'll break your neck..." Enter Robert "Freeze" Riggs.
Robert picks up a hammer and hits Angel over the head three times. Michael grabs a pillow in an effort to smother him. Robert Freeze leaves the room only to return to find Michael pouring some chemical down Andre Angels throat from a broken syringe.


"After a few days, the body began to smell. Alig injected himself with heroin, cut the legs off the corpse, and stuffed him in a box and afterward threw the corpse into the Hudson River."




Make sure he's really REALLY dead.
I browsed a few pages on Amazon.com, that's what it's good for. The moral of the story is two-fold.

A) Don't do drugs. And if you do drugs, don't murder your dealer/roommate, don't shoot up heroin, and don't do Special K if you hate syrup.

B) Read Disco Bloodbath if you like flamboyantly gay men in drag who do drugs and murder. (Unless you've already read it - then I'm proud of you.) I plan on picking this up. It's easy reading. And it's surprisingly FUNNY. I laughed a few times at the pages I was allowed to read. It's perfect. No fancy fluff of pretty poetry. This is a story told the way the speaker speaks. Speak well, write well, engage well.


If you want, I'll tell you about it and you can ask me questions and I'll hand you the book so you can read the sections that matter most.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Oh you bad girl..




We learned in school that any commercial involving monkeys was a sure fire success.
Seems to me, the new standard should be babies with man voices. Hell yeah I'd go to Etrade.com. Make him puke in the commercial again and I'll go TWICE.





I MIGHT EVEN GO THREE TIMES JUST FOR THIS.






I have tears in my eyes. Obviously not the hardest person to entertain.
Laughter makes people feel safe.
Etrade.com, congratulations. Times are tough and I would still invest my dollars through you. That is, what dollars I have left.

Alphabetically speaking:

A - I got staight A's my first year of college. Including my math class. I'm not sure I ever got an A in math until I was in college. Go figure.

I'm making apple chips today.

2 cups unsweetened apple juice
1 cinnamon stick
2 Red Delicious apples ( my least favorite - because they're mushy. This isn't an issue here )


Supposedly I just need to boil the juice and the stick. Slice the apples really thin. Put them in the boiling juice with stick until they're translucent. Take em out. Pat em dry. Put em on a wire rack in the oven at... Some hundreds of degrees for 30-40 minutes and TA-DA, apple chips.



Whether or not the TA-DA end product will be any good is still a mystery.
My kitchen skills are pretty lacking. Mostly because my dish cleaning skills are non existent.
But I've got my grocery list and a mad urge to not put myself in any social situations. It's you and me, apples.