Aside from this, today bit it.

I can't get enough of it. Ever since ordering the most massive plate of spaghetti last night at Good Ol' Uncle Bobs, I haven't been able to get this clip out of my head.
Needed to be shared.

Fun to do baaad things.

I wanna do hoodrat stuff with my friends, too.
Wu Tang, here I come.
Just uhh, don't take my video games away for the weekend please.

Two months left.

Friday, December 26, 2008
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Nebulous dreaming can lead you into trouble now, so it's best to look at your future through a practical lens. If you look past the bright colors and pretty shapes, you can rely on what you see. Don't get distracted by the beautiful fantasies, for these ephemeral visions won't last. Concentrate on the cold hard facts; they will benefit you the most in the days ahead.






My oh my.
I can never get enough of A Christmas Story. I laugh every time. At the same things.
May I add, I've got a killer family. Yesterday's Christmas probably took the cake.
And did you know, only about 60% of newborn male babies in the United States are circumcised? True fact.


To finalize, Wu Tang Clan is playing Pittsburgh tonight. I'm missing it. Should have planned ahead for this one.

One more thing,

Yes. This reminds me of the perfect mix between two of my favorite movies, A Christmas Story and Love Actually.
If you've seen both of these movies, you know exactly where I'm coming from.
GOODNIGHT.

Good call.

This is too good,





The Story:

Sometimes an official, through no fault of his own, will get caught up in the middle of a play and inadvertently make contact with a player. Sometimes an official just feels like making a tackle. Sometimes an official is concerned that a player has been programmed to kill the Queen of England and is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Whatever happened yesterday, here are some terrific action shots of NFL umpire Lieutenant Frank Drebin Garth DeFelice taking out Rams running back Kenneth Darby yesterday. Getty Images photographer Dilip Vishwanat was johnny-on-the-spot yesterday, and the world thanks him for it.









Official vs Cory Worthington.
Who wins for coolest dude?
I'll separate them into age groups so they can both win their respective titles.

Tomorrow. Christmas Eve.
I don't think I'm supposed to eat meat.
Either that or I'm supposed to eat seven different kinds of fish tomorrow.
I can handle both of those.
Bring it on, Family.

Fuco Ueda

Look familiar? Love her.














Click for more, please.


It's too early to say anything special about Fuco Ueda. It's obvious, she's amazing. Every piece comes straight out of you're strangest dream. It took long enough trying to pick just a few to use as preview, I'm captivated. I've been captivated since I stumbled across her. The colors are amazing, the style is one of my favorites, hand done but still complex, there's so much to look at and think about and simmer in.


Enjoy.

Carols don't even phase me anymore.

Okay, okay, it's almost Christmas. I'm reading the news about great electronic gifts and things of the sort. Working in the mall, the haven of all that is Christmas, kind of ruins everything. Our parking lot on weekends looks like Times Square, it will literally take you at least twenty minutes to leave the mall and there is a good chance you're gonna get hit, or have someone give ya the bird.


Christmas. How lovely. It never feels full blown until Christmas morning and I realize that I have a day off. I don't have to listen to an angry customer, don't have to fix any problems, don't have to focus on sales, boost morale, or think about the food court. My ideal gift, is, in fact, being home.


I spent last night with two favorites at a dive bar. Realizing halfway through that this was the last weekend before Christmas, that this was the weekend of Holiday parties galore, and festive festivities every which way at every popular bar. Girls wearing elf suits and santa hats.. This was supposed to be everyone's crazy weekend.
Nope.
Sat at the dive bar. Beer. Talking about nothing in particular other than, working in the mall ( since we all do ), teenaged mutant ninja turtles, cookies, life long dreams of becoming a kung-fu master, and who is this dude...?

"Hey guys, you all having a good night? Anyone need a drink?"

Nah.

"Yeah, that's cool. Man.. I haven't slept in weeks. It's terrible. Ever since Heath Ledger died..."

.. He died almost a year ago..?


"Oh yeah.. Told you it's been rough, I haven't slept. I celebrate his death every night. I'm only twenty. What am I even doing here?"



Follow that up with the small man talking to Thomas about how much he wants to join a band and asking him how to write a bridge, and his friend informing me that the orange in my beer was huge and looked "like a condor."




And to shortly there after say at random "Dave Grohl sucks."
How very strange.
On my way home I watched a guy wreck his car all by himself. We were crossing the bridge and he swirved a little, then spun around drag racing style, hit the side of the bridge, spun the other way and ended up on the other side, facing the wrong direction on the highway.
It was 3:30 in the morning. I was the only one who saw him do it and luckily far enough back to not get involved in the act. I pulled over and asked if he was alright as he walked across the street to pick up his bumper. He said "Yeah definitely! No big deal!"
I asked if he needed me to call anyone or if he needed water...? I have so much water in my car at any given point of time.
He said "Nope! I have triple A!"


Dandy. He was really chipper for having just destroyed his car.
These holidays feel more and more like any other day each year.
That being said, I am entirely grateful for the people in my life right now. I've made a conscious effort over the past year to be the better version of myself. When you surround yourself with good people, that task isn't all that difficult.



Dear customers who won't stop freaking out about "IF I CAN'T HAVE IT BY CHRISTMAS THEN I DON'T WANT IT,"

There are better things in life.
Like gay penguins.
Good people.
Cookies.
Fake trees.
And condor looking oranges.


Life will go on.

Yes!

Two gay penguins at Polar Land in Harbin, China have been stealthily stealing eggs from straight couples and replacing them with rocks. Brilliant!

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracized the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.

"One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper.

"It's not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time," he added.




Poor penguins!
Read on!



Penguins caught stealing eggs from straight couples in an attempt to become fathers have been given their own to look after following protests.

Zoo keepers moved the male birds away from the rest of the penguins to avoid problems as hatching season approaches.

But angry visitors to Polar Land in China complained it was not fair for the males to stop becoming surrogate fathers.

Following the protests, zookeepers gave the pair two eggs laid by an inexperienced first-time mother.

"They've turned out to be the best parents in the whole zoo," on zoo keeper said.

"We will try to arrange for them to become real parents themselves with artificial insemination."




!
And there you have it. The first gay penguin daddy's.
This, along with the kitten eating broccoli, has made me so happy.



Props to Ian for sending this story my way! Gracias.

Non sensical

Remind me to remind you of this.
And the homosexual penguins. The animals, not the team.
And my falafel sandwich.

It's all good.

GET ME TO DO IT FOR YOU.

BEST PARTY EVER SO FAR.
I know this is so old, but I was just reminded of it today.





Hilarious.
Scolded by a news caster.
No shirt.
THE SHADES. "Mmm.. naaahh.. I'll leave these on, I like them."
"Everyone liiiikes em, so I dunno, I'm not takin em off."


I'd like to call up Corey Worthington to throw my next birthday party.
Too bad he's only 16 ( maybe 17 by this point ) and I'd probably get arrested just for hanging out with him.
Not to mention, having a teenager throw your 25th birthday party would be just a little weird.


But God, how I would have loved to be the camera guy (girl) for this. I would have been cracking up the entire time. Same goes for these goofy reality shows. I would kill to sit behind the camera for some sessions. Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood? Run's House? Rob and Big? Getting paid to watch people be ridiculous.
I knew I should have gone to school for television production. It's really too bad that those dorm rooms were super tiny with zero A/C.
Kicking myself!

Way to go, Corey. You win!

Moar.

Horoscope; December 14th.

Listen to your dreams tonight -- they are telling you what you need to hear and then some. Separating the good stuff from the random noise is even easier than usual, too, so you should get the message.



I'll be waiting.


Also, pirates were captured in the Gulf of Aden which is located between the Horn of Africa and the Arabian Peninsula. ( I like maps. Ever play the around the world game? With a globe? Spin it, close your eyes, put your finger down --- Where you land is where you live ) Pirates! Their booty consisted of automatic weapons, "13 loaded magazines" ( .. magazines? ), and a rocket propelled grenade launcher complete with rockets!

According to the article, pirate attacks off the coast of Somalia have increased this year.

I'd like to know more about these loaded magazines.

Active mind and VH1 late at night.

I had a dream about an amusement park of sorts. One that you really only looked at though. You would walk through the park and they had characters put on tracks in the ground to make them look like they were moving around and interacting but you would just watch.

For some reason.. I found myself crossing over the fence and going through the field of fun. The water park area was to my left and on my right was a line of trees with people having picnics and reading. I walked up the hill and started to notice how lifelike all of these people were. They all had voices and conversations about what was happening in their little area. I watched the little bar tracks in the ground to avoid getting in ones way. It was way too late once I got near the top of the hill though.
Some little boys were playing football and I couldn't seem to avoid any of their tracks. Seems I had walked right into the middle of a big play just as it was happening. Bad timing.
I danced around them a little bit and one threw the ball to me.


"Where's your track?"


"I don't have one."


I gave him his ball back, he shrugged and they all got up like clockwork and followed their tiny electrical guides. I went and sat down by two girls reading near the trees. We had conversations. Turns out they were all real people who ran into some unfortunate events that prevented them from living any form of a quality life. So when their soul left their body, they were taken, brainwashed, rewired, mounted on a track, and set up for display.
How strange.

The dream also involved wolves, a very angry cougar, a halloween party on a huge RV in the middle of the woods, and this little furry animal... Looked like a squirrel/mouse/sugar glider thing. Adorable till it threw up lime green all over and tried to cuddle with me.
I was also about to be given away to some old disgusting man and he wouldn't stop touching me telling me how happy we would be together.
That's probably why I hopped that fence and ended up on the party RV with my cousins and a bunch of gay men.




Fabulous.
It was very Alice in Wonderland-esque.


ALSO,

THIS GOES TO THRIVING IVORY.
You suck.
VH1 late at night introduced me to you and I was so upset.
I know at least three bands who have never been able to catch their break who are WORLDS better than you. Talent and passion seeps from their pores. They've left me satisfied and giddy in a nearly awestruck way.
This isn't just because I'm not a fan of Thriving Ivory's music.
This is because it hurt my ears to hear. It made me sick and it wasn't the amount of alcohol I had in me.
It was terrible.
The lyrics, the sound, the way they all look... Terrible.


I know bands that are not only 10x better looking BUT 50x more talented and unique.
I'm calling VH1.
Get Thriving Ivory outta there and find a way to get these other kids in there.

(This also goes out to Saving Abel and the other God awful band that was shown after them.)
For Christ's sakes they have a chick with a SAVING ABLE TRAMP STAMP as their artwork. So original. So classy.





Good thing I have the day off.

Baby trees.

This made me so happy.

And finally,

Wow. During Christmas present extravaganza, I stopped into the liquor store to grab .... someone.... a bottle of wine. After my purchase the cashier asked me if I had tried the Canton ginger liquor.
Nope.
"It's mixed with apple cider."
I'm there.

I've had my run ins with ginger brandy a few times. Typically it starts off classy, in a cup of tea or on the rocks. 99% of the time it ends up being drank straight out of the bottle. Always a good time until the next morning.
Regardless, I'm partial to ginger. Though the sample was teeny tiny, it was amazing. It's made up of "baby ginger and VSOP Cognac."
If you've ever eaten a piece of ginger, this is what you taste. It's sweeter and completely delicious.
I grabbed one of the 5 remaining bottles and the woman beside me took two more.

I wanted two. One to gift, one for myself. I couldn't pick just one person to give it to though... So I got it for myself. ( Number one baby. ha ) And I plan on bringing it to my family's for Christmas. And flasking it to share with friends elsewhere.


If you see this in a store, pick it up. You won't be sorry. Tons of drink concoctions and it would be delicious to cook with. NOT ONLY THAT, but it comes in the prettiest bottle/box with a tiny circular drink recipe "booklet" strung by ribbon around the neck of the bottle. Every designers dream. Oh so tasteful. To the eyes and the tongue.

MGMT

Heavy Heavy, little girl.
But this band, and their videos, are some of the best of their kind. Strange for sure. Pulled straight out of your strangest dreams.
It's mostly just a lot of fun. And drugs.
I love it. It's straight up happy.








And this would be my favorite; Simply can't embed it.

MGMT Electric Feel



If this doesn't work, go to youtube.com. Search "MGMT, Electric Feel"
And go dance somewhere.
I want that moon juice.

Greener with the Scenery.

I remembered The Used. I remembered the summer of '02 and how good that was. Mostly because I was naive. Then I remembered how I was.
Un-faltered.
The largest set back I ever had to deal with was breaking up with my boyfriend. Whoopdy do.
Other than that, I had the mindset that I could take on anything, and DO anything, and do it well.
Not because I was a headstrong perfectionist.. only because I didn't know anything else.
I did it well without trying. Every time.
I should give not trying another shot.


2007, you killed me.
I'd like to think that one year of... healing time?... Should have been plenty of time. Correct?
Or, for a person who lived 23 years with only small dents on their outer shell, should it take a little longer to get back on your feet after being completely smashed to bits and pieces by what felt like meteors?


Seems those meteors were life's true realities. You can't always get what you want, you're not always as safe as you'd like to think, and people aren't always who you try to perceive them to be.
And to each of these realities comes clarity.

It's not necessarily a negative, seeing things clearly for the first time. But it's not easy to finally understand that those rose colored glasses were really clouding your vision. And it's not easy knowing that you're walking a straight line and doing things right by means of yourself when you're so used to doing it wrong for thrills.
It's not easy saying enough is enough. It's not easy saying maybe that really wasn't for me. It's not easy knowing that not everyone can see you and your capabilities the way you know yourself and your capabilties.
It's not easy saying "Yes I was wrong and I'm sorry," to people that you know won't forgive you.
It's not easy letting go of the things that you were so used to.
It's not easy seeing the people you love the most, not love each other or themselves, at all.
It's not easy knowing that my left knee will never be the same.
I can hear that voice in the back of my head, "No one said it was easy."
I was just kind of hoping that it would be.


Seems I watched things break. And I realized that this is the truth behind everything that I fogged over with a blanket of sugary idealism. I finally stood up for myself. I finally spoke up when asked what I wanted. I exposed my insides. I had to be a rock for the people that I truthfully thought were the strongest people I knew. I finally lost.
Never ready to take off those glasses.




Real life, the ground is so much harder when you fall. But the colors are so much prettier. Keep your balance.

Sugar shock.

If the name "Circa Survive" is involved, there's sure to be some type of amazing artwork to go along with it. Never fails.


I walked myself into a gym today. I had the mindset to lower my "real age" by at least 5 years. It smelled like soggy balls and the man that showed me around was enorme. There were dudes breathin heavy with veins popping out of their arms, necks, foreheads, eyeballs.. And chicks in very matchy matchy spandex leggings and tank tops sweating on elipticals. Jam packed into one little room. Not much walking space. Just a lot of sweaty people doing their thing. Enorme told me that he'd waive my $9 joining fee ( whoaaaa ) if I join before the 18th.
It's $18 a month.
A small price to pay for doing something at least KIND OF proper for my body -- considering I will be nowhere near as hardcore as anyone there, in fact, I might as well just go on Tuesday afternoons when the senior citizens do their mild walking exercises...
I need to suck it up and ignore the intensity of the people who are just trying to look hot while sweating.



So while most of the gym reminds me of THIS







I will be thinking of this.




El oh El.
I don't know why this is kinda funny. It's probably not. I've had WAY too much sugar today.
Real food is in order N.O.W.

SAD

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression or winter blues, is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter or, less frequently, in the summer, repeatedly, year after year. The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up." The condition in the summer is often referred to as Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, and can also include heightened anxiety.
There are many different treatments for classic (winter-based) seasonal affective disorder, including light therapies with bright lights, anti-depression medication, ionized-air administration, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and carefully timed supplementation of the hormone melatonin.

CONTINUE



Well whatever it is, it's a killer. If I could lay outside and stare at the clouds, I would.
Two and a half more months?

Winter Anthem.

The asphalt is leaning on me like a mountain.
The pressure is building and I'm exhausted.
I know you know there is nowhere to go.
Knowing is trying; its not a secret.
I know you know there is nowhere to go.
I'm sleeping in a basement; it's cold and I'm dusty.
The pictures are hanging, they're on my walls like a guillotine.
I know you know there is nowhere.
Laying down here trying to think of nothing,
I know you know there is nowhere to go.

- Pygmy Lush "Asphalt"




I'm exhausted.

The Mattress Factory.

The first time ( the first of TWO times ) I ventured to the Mattress Factory in college I had set in my mind that A) it would be a factory, and B) there would be a mattress or two somewhere.
Wrong.

Turns out it's one of my utmost favorite museum experiences ever. It's installation art, so every few months is a new adventure that you can touch and play with. Unlike the Children's Museum, you don't play with toys and figure out your own art, and it doesn't leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling like you might want to change the world. You leave feeling just a little more anxious than you felt when you arrived and maybe more like you just stepped out of a dream. Anxiety could partially be due to the fact that the location of the place is in the middle of what seems to be the ghetto, but the last exhibit could have a huge part of that as well. It leaves you with a lot of questions about the parts you don't consciously think about in everyday events.

Most is too hard to explain. There are four floors. You can touch nearly everything, and most of the "art" is the art that you make it. The strangest being the dark room. We made way down a dark hallway and up a ramp holding onto a rail, with absolutely no visibility. Soon as it leveled off we could feel two chairs and then realized we were on a balcony of sorts. You knew it was a big room from your echoing voice but there was nothing to see or feel other than the two chairs and the railing that kept you from falling. The plan was to sit. In complete darkness. For fifteen minutes. Initially night vision will start to kick in, but there's nothing to see aside from a faint white glow on the wall. Faint as in.. I wouldn't even consider it a light of any sort. It was not something to focus on. After a few minutes night vision starts to blend with what your mind goes into when your eyes are shut.
Personally, I was freaked.
I kept talking to keep my mind from thinking about zombies and murderers and the possibility of the balcony falling. I heard footsteps coming up the ramp until I knew there was someone standing right beside me.
I let the new visitor know that we were on a small platform with two chairs and that the plan was to sit in the darkness to understand what happens when your eyes are shut.
He responds with;
"Huh.. I thought maybe you were the exhibit cause I heard you talking down the hall. But I guess not. ... Well.... This is really creepy now, so I'm not going to stand here to find out what happens. I hope you're not a ghost. Bye."

I hoped he wasn't a ghost. Or a murderer. Or a zombie, as well. And mostly I was hoping that he wouldn't start feeling around and accidentally grab my face. Hence the chatter.
I was officially weirded out after fifteen minutes of the pitch black timeout.



One floor left after that one. Elevator opens in the basement. Old, stone basement. Smells like mildew and death ( that's so dramatic ). You could hear water dripping and moving a little along with some weird vibration noises. Like a hum that would swell and fade off out of any particular rhythm. There are two red painted speakers hanging from the ceiling by wires that visibly vibrate with the sound.




Down another dark hallway you can feel the coolness of water. If you can't see it, your senses really kick in and you some how know exactly how much water is in a room just by the dampness in the air and the sound of it sitting still around you. Strange how it happens but it does. We walk into the room until we bump into a rope preventing us to walk farther. On the other end of the room is an open doorway with a red light coming from it and reflecting off the water. You can hear the vibrations more loudly. There's nothing but the doorway. And a lot of water.



It was creepy for sure.
But it made you feel comfortable. I just wanted to lay down and stare at it for a while and listen to the weird noise.
That was my Donnie Darko moment.
The museum was closing. I wasn't allowed to stay and think about anything more than "How deep is this water?"



Please follow this link to my most favorite room in the building; FAVORITE

It's so much better when you are there and standing in the middle of the wire vines.


And please follow this link to educate yourself farther on the Mattress Factory MUSEUM; MF


They are able to give much more eloquently written descriptions of what I was experiencing. I just ramble from the middle of my brain and hope that somehow my feelings can be translated by words.


These exhibits are here until January 11th. ANYONE that wants to go should let me know. I am more than willing to hold your hand through the scary parts. And then maybe we can talk about what makes water smell weird afterwards.
It's snowing something wicked right now.
I guess winter is here.
My adventures shall continue.