I heard the grass was greener..

I think I may be leaving for a little while.

I'm not looking to "wow him."

I'm angry at every women's magazine. Excluding NYLON and any Suzie Homemaker mag.
All these magazines thrive on weak women. They thrive on low self esteem.
How to improve your sex life. How to tone your butt. How to please your man. How to impress your boss. How to wake up beautiful. How to blast the pounds away. How to look your best at the party.
Blah blah blah.

How about, how to be true to yourself? How to be grateful for what you have. How to stand out because you're not another sheep, you're a wolf. And you're gonna follow your own norms rather than societies norms.
Since when does following the trend make you look your best?
And why would I care about how "Working out leads to Making out."
Exercise, sex, sunscreen and $100 creams. I'm tired of it.

Where is the entertainment for the girls who will not settle? Who are 100% independent with no 401k plan? Who don't need to make dinner for the family? Who aren't suck-ups who want to show off to their boss because they just want to hold a job down to make sure they can pay their bills on time? Who couldn't care less about the how the trendy new blazer paired with pearl earrings and sling back shoes that make them look longer and leaner?

Where is the entertainment for the free spirits that don't need a monthly update on "try this new move in bed" or "run two extra miles this month to boost skins elasticity!"
I praise NYLON for digging up new music. "Trends" that fit into fashionista "take it as it comes to you," type things. Real reviews on products that may or may not end up in your hand at Target. And no stories on how to have the perfect french kiss after burning off 3000 calories.


This is sad. On top of sad, this is weakening women without them ever noticing.
Be true to yourself. Don't follow the norm.
Sheep.
They're all sheep thinking that what they read and what they see on the reality tv shows is how it should be.
Be the wolf. Be the one nipping at the heels of how society thinks you should be.
Live your life the way it fits you best.



I love cocktails. I hate cleaning. I like exercise 3 times out of the month. I will kiss however I want to kiss. I will wear this size large dress under my old Norma Jean hoodie with a pair of boots and a way too big puffer jacket with the pink hood because it's warm, and I'm comfortable in it. I cannot cook to save my life, but I will make a good effort. And I enjoy my time alone as well as with friends that I have no intentions of making out with. I want to travel. And experience. And not be held back.
I really like all natural products, and processed foods, and meat. I really like being out in the sun with no SPF on. And I like cheesecake. Not in moderation.


I am the wolf in the flock of sheep. Big heart, sharp teeth, free spirit. Suck it, Cosmo.

Storybook.

There was a time, maybe two years ago, when I found 3 dead birds. Two in my yard. One on my porch. And the one on my porch I found with a wire hanger nearby. It was there in the morning as I was leaving for work. Totally freaked me out. I spent the entire day thinking of how it got there and how I was going to get it off my porch without touching it.

It was a sparrow too. Pretty little thing. Never really see them flying around in the wild that much which made it all the more peculiar to see it on my welcome mat. When I got home, the bird was gone, the hanger was relocated to the yard.


I've never had an issue with dead birds since then. I originally thought it was a neighborhood cat trying to woo my kitten to fall in love with it by giving her presents. But the bird was perfectly whole and unscathed. Maybe someone chucked the hanger at it and stunned it onto my porch. I'll never know.

As for the other two in my yard, one was definitely a victim to a cat attack. The other simply seemed to have thrown himself into the ground. Wings were still spread in flying position.

Perhaps my home was the place for bird suicides for a while. Strange.
I have so many things going on in my head right now... Just waiting to escape onto a blank screen.

Nothing.

Whoever told me "Don't worry, today is the shortest day of the year.. Pretty soon it'll be light at 5:30 again," last week, thank you.
This has been one of the single things that get me through a day.

Today the sun was out just a little longer than it was yesterday.
Perhaps it's temporary winter insanity, but I've come up with a laundry list of good ideas that may or may not be executed by spring time.
I'm leaning more towards the "may not," but these are good productive plans.

You know the rule; It's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. ?
I'm wondering if this rule applies to painting the inside of my apartment.
I'm also wondering what would happen if I just took all of these cardboard boxes full of stuff and threw them away without looking inside. Is there anything worth any sort of value in them? Or am I just throwing away loads of potentially life changing notes from college classes covered in doodles and FLASH codes?


Oh God, Flash. There was a time when I could animate websites. Not well. Not smoothly. But they moved, faded, and had sounds. I guess I should keep those notes.



Weeds is great.
Netflix seems like a good idea now.
And hey, President Obama, welcome. Heard the lady President is very stylish. Guess we've got ourselves the next Jackie O.
The man is so well spoken.
The end!

Open up shop.

He's mostly a monster on the field. If you watched the game you most likely saw him dive over top of the entire offensive line in full attack mode. You probably also saw him win the game.
Intense.
AND you probably also saw the double whammy knockout hit! Ouch.


Superbowl 2009.
My brother apparently had a black and gold "terrible cake" for his birthday/football party today. Cute.
I really like this part.

"Raise your hand if you're a grown up and you don't make your bed."

I've been addicted since summer. Maybe it's time I just buy a full bottle. It's a mix between Gramma, comfort, and free spirit.
Speaking of cannabis, I purchased the first season of Weeds today (with my Circuit City gift card!). I've heard good reviews and considering I'm more or less snowed in with no 4WD, five hours of something new is welcomed.

Let's also touch on;

- DMX being forced to wear pink underwear in jail. That's how Ruff Riders roll, baby.

- Clint Eastwood being my favorite racist prick in Grand Torino. So much so, that all I really wanted to do was hug the man. Movie as a whole, two thumbs up. I'd add it to my collection of seven and watch it a few times over just to hear Mr. Eastwoods dreamy voice and all of those ridiculous slurs coming out of it. ( It's okay for him to do it, he's sort of the man, ya know? )

- Philosophy products. Skin care, body care, fragrances = A+

- The Hudson River plane crash. It was one of the first crash landings of its type where no one was killed. But, may we please have a moment of silence for the flock of Canadian geese who lost their lives to a jet engine. Tragic.


My horoscope told me to stay away from the drink today otherwise some bad decisions would have been made. Lucky for my horoscope the roads were too non-existent to even consider touching a drink to these lips.
I guess I'll have a lot of other nights to make bad decisions. Right!?
On that note, sweatpants, Weeds, Kitten, blanket, go.


PS.
Go Steelers.


I aspire to have the Pittsburgh accent just as Myron demonstrated above.
xo

Four birthdays. Two days.

Today! Littlest brother, Brian's birthday!
ALONG WITH Martin Luther King Juniors birthday!


Brian's 18 today, and I have the day off. I had half the mind to make him cookies and go to his high school to hand deliver them.
He probably would have thought it was funny.
He's a really great kid.
I really love my Capricorns.


I'm also very excited about this 9 degree weather. Five ( 5 ) degrees tomorrow!
I've got the best pair of long johns that I acquired last year for the Winter Classic, kind of assuming I'd never really need them again. But alas! With all my bad car luck, seems the only smart thing to do is to bundle up entirely before I leave the house just in case I happen to find myself in a situation that involves me waiting in a car with no heat for 2 hours or so.

No other news.

YES.

Allow me to "in short" this.


PETA, in order to make people more compassionate towards fish and fish rights, has decided to brand them not as fish, but as sea kittens.




Hmm.. I dunno PETA, I'm not really fallin for this whole... fish in a kittens costume thing. From what I can remember, my fish were the only pets that I could NOT dress up. Also, I'm not sure people are eating goldfish? (unless it's in cracker form!) And if you want to give fish RIGHTS.. maybe you should..... protest against fish in little bags at the carnivals. Those suckers are mistreated more so than the ones caught out in the deep blue, grilled up and served on my plate.

Not to mention, Kurt Cobain told me that it's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings.


Read more on the PETA genius idea here.



Moving on.


Removing cats to protect birds backfires on island.


BANGKOK, Thailand – It seemed like a good idea at the time: Remove all the feral cats from a famous Australian island to save the native seabirds.

But the decision to eradicate the felines from Macquarie island allowed the rabbit population to explode and, in turn, destroy much of its fragile vegetation that birds depend on for cover, researchers said Tuesday.



Nuff said. I want them all to stick out their little hands and smack them. Leave it. Alone. Or, take out HALF of the feral cats. How do you remove ALL of on species from an area? And where did you put them all?

"The unintended consequences of the cat-removal project show the dangers of meddling with an ecosystem — even with the best of intentions, the study said."

Cat-removal project.
It does sound like a really fun and good idea. I'd like to have a Cat-removal project in my neighborhood and collect all the strays, skin them, and put them on fish so they look cuter.
Cats eat fish! No child is going to fall for it, PETA. Cats will not eat other cats. Nor will they think the fish is a cat just because it has a nice outfit on.

(READ MORE OF CAT-REMOVAL FAIL HERE)


To top of January 14, 2009;
My love, David Grohl, is celebrating his birthday.





I feel like that too!
And the lucky boy, Ian, gets to share in all of this birthday glory.
Tomorrow marks just as special of a day!

I'm watching the radio.

What can I say?
News in the winter never feels as exciting.

My eight hour grind yesterday didn't drag on as long as it normally feels as of late. It was my newest realization.
Don't go in dreading it and it's really not that bad.
It could also be because I studied hand writing analysis for a good portion of the time. At first I thought it was a crock, but after looking at meanings behind things, I guess I understand the reasoning.


In world news;
There are 5 new ways to get flat abs.
Ryan Seacrest is dissing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
An adopted 80 year old man found out that he had a brother that lived not far away.
Something about the Golden Globes.. and more celebrity hook up breakups.


Awesome.
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not sure if I could care less about celebrities and their lives.
Aside from Travis McCoy of the Gym Class Heroes breaking up with Katy Perry.




Very nice.

"It's Chinese checkers too! That's the best."

It was apparently a whim.






Ashley's roommate came home from work stating "I bought another album! I really have to stop buying CD's.. But this one had two middle aged people playing a board game in the bathtub on the back! I had to get it."
Surely it wasn't the only reason he picked it up. I think I overheard something of a "This is supposed to be pretty good."
And despite the fact that he thought it was some form of evil gypsy music, I liked it.
Welcome, Delta Spirit. Enjoy.

What's better? They're playing in Pittsburgh February 18th. This panned out quite nicely.
Now it's keylime cheesecake for breakfast. I knew there was a really good reason why I didn't finish this last night.
And for coffee drinkers, Folgers Gourmet Selections coffee in Caramel Drizzle. It's wonderful. Granted, it's still coffee. And it still only cost me five dollars for a lot of it, so the "gourmet" is not quite so.. But it's not bitter at all. Love.

Sure do hate this snow though. And the fact that they don't treat the roads round this part of town. Awesome awesome.

The longest stretch of winter.

Best toast; Buttered Italian with a little bit of rosemary sprinkled on it.

Worst idea; Working eight hours alone with no book or magazine to keep me entertained.
Post holiday drag.



But, today I'll research how to prevent dreaming. It's not normal to dream all night every night, is it? It makes me so tired.


I'll also pass on this advice I learned in college. Maybe you know this, or maybe what you were told in high school was never corrected.. After punctuating a typed sentence, you only need to use one space, not two. [ Period. Space. Not spacespace. ]
High school, why did you lie to me?
Then with the whole kerning deal you could make it look like you didn't space ANYTHING. Or! Better yet! Kern and lead it all out so your two paragraph term paper looked to be at least a page and a half. Just type it all up in Illustrator and the words "use double inch spacing," didn't mean all that much. Genius.



Great useless information.
Oh and, the Darwin Awards. You can google it. It gives you a list of how people accidentally died doing not the brightest thing. Example: Priest attached himself to a bunch of helium balloons that lifted him and floated him out over the ocean. He did this in order to "be closer to God." They sent him out with a safety parachute, a helmet, a GPS system and some type of communication device. But he didn't know how to activate the GPS to give them his location, nor did he understand the communication device. Last they saw, he was floating farther out and up and away. Never to be found.
The Darwin Awards.

Solitaire, Lookbook, The Stooges (of Iggy Pop).

I had my few posts of new years revelations, now, can we talk about how difficult computer solitaire is?
Use both colors of the deck and flip three cards, not one. It's nearly impossible.
Actually, a good 30 games today and not a single win would make it absolutely impossible for January 06, 2009.
I remember playing this when I was younger with real, honest to God, cards and it never seemed that hard.

There's got to be something up with computer solitaire.


Moving onto my newest obsession; Lookbook. <-- Go. Click.
I credit this to Nikki Moose and her Dirty Flaws blog.

But look!




On top of amazing tights that I personally need to find somewhere in my life - even if someone paints a pair for me - and on top of the girl being hella cute with blue hair, the photograph itself is completely captivating.
Lookbook not only gives you a glimpse of every day fashion from around the world, but it's works of art. Gorgeous pictures. Interesting colors and shapes. This is 100% inspiration in every creative aspect.
I couldn't ask for more.
Especially since it continually loads so you don't ever have to click to go to the "next page." It just keeps going and going..



On with real life news;

Ron Asheton, of the Stooges, passed away. "Likely cause is a heart attack."

If Project Playlist wasn't being such a piece right now, I'd put a little something up... Since that's not going to happen tonight I'll just say, "I Wanna be your Dog," is one of my favorites. Thank you, sir. You've done us well.

My thought.

Who tries to find a best friend by making a reality GAME show of it?
Nimrods.

"New year new friends."
Roll with that. Was it me or has the past 3 years felt like they came and went so quickly?
Maybe when you're in school you have a strict routine and rules that you either follow or you fail. Maybe that's what makes those years feel like they take forever, but the second you start having your own life with your own rules, things get fun.
Time flies babies.


People need to start doing more sidewalk chalk drawings.
And I need a tattoo.






"The man with no imagination, has no wings."

Let it begin.

Let's continue the best worst luck ever, please?

Yesterday after standing face to face with one of my least favorite parts of my past, and then literally running into someone who can't bare to talk to me let alone look at me, whom, from what I could tell, scurried away after the incident, the thought of "I'm just cursed," crossed my mind.
The first person I had set in my head that I would never have to see again in my life. The second person, I'm just going to start making a tallied list of awkward running into's to see how high it gets before I just say that enough is enough and all issues be addressed and put to rest.

It was bizarre and I felt on guard for the remainder of my shift. Plans for the evening finally coming together gave me a little hope.

After work I drive home, get ready, hop back in the car, drive three miles down the road, got pulled over.
CURSED.
Absolutely cursed.
Yes, I was going about 40 in the 25 mph zone. And yes I swerved a little because I was trying to make a phone call, look at my gps, and mess with the radio all at once. I was screwed.
But wait!
Only the cutest cop that I've ever seen in my entire life shows up at my window and says "Oh, hi.. I just wanted to let you know that one of your brake lights is out. I didn't want anyone hitting you from behind. Lots of people drive around and don't even realize until they get hit. Ya know?"
Nope. I didn't know.

Then he tells me to be really safe driving because there are a lot of crazy drunks on the road tonight and there are lots of accidents everywhere and he'd hate to see me get involved with something like that.
This is great. Officer CutePants made my day.
Maybe I'm not cursed. Maybe he'll pull me over all the time.


It is a dark and dreary day today.

I'm obsessing over TopShop and a pair of metallic snake printed shorts. I'm making a playlist of new (to me) and introduced music. Share time soon.

Hello, 2009. Part deux.

MANswers.
There's a marathon.
Some of the most random interesting facts out there. I'm entertained.

Hello, 2009.

I can't say I have the best of luck. But at least my bad luck is mildly entertaining.

To finish the year, I broke down my car. There was nothing wrong with it aside from my own stupid mistake. It was out of commission for days. But in the process of a stupid mistake, a really cool thing happened;




A deer died and I acquired this at 3:00 AM. Felt bad for the deer for sure, but what a shame to leave its perfectly good antler laying in the middle of the road, detached and unscathed by the mess that was it's owner. R.I.P. huge deer. I'll remember you always.


Moving on through the week, my father, who was out of town, graciously allowed me to make use of his car (aka - he was out of town, and it was available. Why would I not take it? ).
New Years Eve decided it would allow all hell to break loose weather wise. It threatened every plan, but lost to the salt trucks and winter coats. Overall, my most loved new years in a while. Granted, last years in Buffalo with the people I've held close to me for years upon years, was a trip. No pun intended. But this year I got exactly what I wanted. Dive bar, party, no drama. The bucket full of gin and Fresca being dispensed by turkey basters was an added bonus. I managed to kiss not a soul at midnight, but I think I toasted to Monica. And I'd say a handful got a cheek kiss. The most staggering cheek kiss of my ... most recent... life.
Everyone was really happy. I remember playing london bridge with two people I don't know. We made someone turn the tv on to watch the ball drop, and I don't even think I watched it. I was too busy making no sense with the most amazing mouse/bunny/cat mug full of wine in my hand.
It couldn't have been more fun.


The miracle, no hangover the next morning. Could have been the hot dog I ate at 1:30 am. Or, it could have been my ratio of straight liquor to sweetened drinks. 7:2 I'd say. Ingenious.


December 1, 2009. Sunny. Lazy.
Killed my dad's car. That's TWO cars in THREE days. This is full of ratios. Possible cause - Leaving a door slightly open all night, allowing the interior light to shine on through the early morning/afternoon hours, slowly, proficiently, killing the battery.
"Did you leave the lights on?"
I wish it were that easy. The lights turn off when the car is shut off.
Really, the only possibility would be the interior light. Meaning, much worse could have happened to this precious, loud, sports car.


Nevertheless, the problem was solved. Called mah Dad on the way home. He offered to drive my (FIXED!) car to my place so we could trade. Yayyy..


He arrives five minutes after I do. Such good timing. Take his keys off of my key clip and notice how bare it looks... What's missing...?
Work keys.
Lovely.
Had to open the store. Can't seem to manage that without the keys to do so.



Again, problem was resolved shortly after it arose. Someone said eating sauerkraut on the first day of the new year was good luck.
I managed to eat TWO servings.. And still run into glitches in the system. I'm hoping this means the rest of my year will pan out fantastically. I suppose there's only one way to find out.





Resolutions?
Though I make my resolutions around the time of my birthday, I have decided on some easy ones.

a) Get healthy. Take my vitamins. Take deep breaths. Worry only when I need to. Make sure my buttocks doesn't shrink more than it has. We're instilling the summer "gain six HEALTHY pounds" again.

b) More adventures. Many more. I want to travel. Five to 1,000 miles away. I want to see the parts that I've missed before. Or the parts that I've been missing in my heart.

c) Get back to the basics. When I was younger, I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. Well, I grew up and never established a profession in the field. Whether discouraged or busy, slowly let go of that part of myself. I realized a few days ago though, I've always been an artist. Never had to grow up to become one. That's what I am. I may never make a career out of it, but it's written in me. Right along side the conflicted realist vs. constant day dreamer acting out every scenario in life in her head. Just in case it happens in real life, I'll be ready for it. Nestled in with the girl who was never that popular because small talk and fake smiles just were not her thing. That makes people think you're not cool. Or not nice.
Give me the real people with good vibes and raw emotions.

d) Be aware.
I've been aware. You get burned and you learn. You don't learn how to not how to not get burned again, but how it feels to get burned. And how to not be the person that makes other people feel that way. It was brought to my attention the other day that very few people follow this. When I'm considered "weird" for something that I thought was normal makes me all the more conscious of my motions. Don't be that guy.





Perhaps I'd say I won't judge people as much. But when you work in the mall, and you have to hear these pretty little girls talk about "Well, I need to get something that I really REALLY love before I get rid of something that I just KIND OF love.." while scarfing down General Tso's with fried rice and a side of lo mein (as the vegetable I might add), it's hard not to think of mass population as shallow and mindless.
But maybe, just maybe, I'll find it in me to shut it all out and smile. Or, I'll stick to resolution letter C, and go back to the basics of raising one eyebrow and keeping my mouth shut just long enough to make it awkward.